Almost one year of war...

At this time last year, I was making plans to have the boys, N and Y, and their sister, S, come for Summer 2022. We had so many hopes. There were quiet talks of Russia invading Ukraine. But we were hopeful and pushed forward. I paid for S's passport, as she did not have one yet. I, along with so many others, were trying to give hope to these kids, while at the same time, some knew, some had this fear that our worlds would shatter. 

These three kids, ones that I hold in my heart, I had hopes to bring them home. Hunter and Hudson have so many wonderful memories of these kids. While here, I saw hope and light and a spirit in their eyes. When I see them now, that light is gone. N will be aging out of the system in just over one year. S is turning just 8 years old tomorrow. She has been there in the orphanage since she was 3. And Y, the sweet boy with a heart of gold, is growing up faster than he should have to. 

They have an older brother, who I have regularly spoken with as well. He has aged out of the system; however, he is still receiving some assistance as he is attending the university. But, he also has some serious heart problems. I try to help, but there is only so much I can do. I feel a bit empty with all of this. 

I have met so many wonderful people because these kids were brought into my life. G is a wonderful woman who helps me with the kids. I am beyond grateful for her. Her strength, love and dedication for orphans is extraordinary, even if it takes its toll on her own health. She said something to me the other day when I asked how she was. She said, "I am a living corpse". This is how so many in Ukraine feel. They are living without the basic necessities, fighting a war that they did not ask for and fighting to maintain their own land, beliefs, culture and history. According to Reuters (as of today, 2/4/23), over 43,000 people have died, 15,000 are missing, approximately 14 million are displaced and over $350 Billion in damage (https://www.reuters.com/) 

If you do not know much about this war, please take the time to learn. Here are some pictures about the first 6 months of war in Ukraine: https://www.reuters.com/news/picture/in-pictures-six-months-of-war-in-ukraine-idUSRTSAMF3L People may wonder why this is such a big deal; however, it is important to remember, Russia invaded Ukraine. There is about 50 miles between mainland Russia and mainland US (Alaska). While it is not likely, Russia could invade the US. Russia made the decision to attack and invade a sovereign nation. Russia made the decision to attack public areas where citizens are. They are killing innocent people. 

At the fall of the USSR, Ukraine gave up their nuclear weapons upon entering an agreement with the US, UK and Russia (Budapest Memorandum). Take note how it does not say treaty. Which may have lead to where we are today with Ukraine and Russia. 

Wherever this goes, one thing is certain. So many orphans are missing out on opportunities for homes and families. My heart aches. I still have the money that I raised to bring my kids home. I can't and won't spend it. It is there to bring them home. However, with each passing day, hope decreases and sadness increases. 

One year ago....

Just over one year ago our lives changed. I was sitting on Facebook, scrolling through different posts. I saw a post made by a friend, Kathy. She posted about hosting a Ukrainian orphan. I am not sure why but it really caught my eye. So, of course, I decided to follow up on it. But... the deadline to apply was just days away. I didn't think that anything would come of it. But, by God's grace, and a number of people helping, as well as a large donation by another family, I was matched with two young boys. Little did I know how those kids would change our lives. 

As I think back on this time, it really was an amazing time. So much joy, laughter and love. So much hope. Although my desire and goal was (and still is) to adopt them, everything was put on hold in February 2022. However, because of this one experience, I have had so many more opportunities to be blessed and be a blessing to others. 

In May I traveled to Poland with the organization Force 4 Hope. What an amazing experience and organization. Their goal is to bring mission trips directly to you and wow, do they ever! Best experiences and I encourage everyone to look into this organization.

Through these experiences, I was also exposed to the Unite 4 Ukrainian program. I have sponsored multiple people. And of the ones that I have sponsored, five will be in our home. The first three arrived just under four weeks ago. And they are spreading their wings and trying to set some roots. And although they are leaving, this is not Good bye, but See you soon! 💓

Brown and White Photocentric Love Slideshow by Teresa McCann

These last few weeks...

These last few weeks have been pretty busy. I am gratefully speaking with my kids in Ukraine; however, things are very dire. There have been numerous attacks throughout Ukraine.
If someone is not familiar with the above pictures, the one on the left is the entire country of Ukraine. It is shaded in orange because that means the entire country is under a missile warning. People need to be prepared to take shelter at any moment. There are air raid sirens constantly. The post on the right was sent to Ukrainians. Here is what it says:

Residents of Lviv Oblast! Now it depends on each and every one of you whether we will be able to avoid power outages. Please reduce your electricity consumption:  just now inspect your home and turn off everything you don't use;  entrepreneurs are asked to limit the use of outdoor advertising and lighting, especially during the peak hours of electricity consumption - from 08:00 to 11:00 and from 17:00 to 23:00, as well as during the curfew - from 00:00 to 05:00 ;  please consider industrial enterprisesthe possibility of switching to work at night;  turn on the most energy-consuming appliances from 00:00 to 05:00. Let me remind you that the most energy-consuming are: electric heater, boiler, electric stove, microwave oven, washing machine, electric oven, electric kettle, coffee maker, iron, dishwasher, air conditioner, chargers, vacuum cleaner, computer, TV. Since October 10, the enemy has hit Ukraine's power system more than during all the previous months of the full-scale war. Ourand energy workers are doing everything possible to ensure that we all have electricity. And they succeed. But these restrictions are necessary for our energy system to survive. It depends on you. Let's resist!

They are expecting to lose water and power. They are going into winter. People are dying not only because of the direct war and fighting, but because they have no access to the basic necessities to live. This is not ending any time soon.

On some other notes, my kiddos were able to return to their orphanage. In the past, they could not because their shelter was basically not up to code. The government would not allow them to return. However, with the help of many they were able to return. My kiddo, Y, has told me how happy he is to be back to a familiar space. 

And lastly, over the last few weeks, I continue doing everything I can to help those who need it in Ukraine. Through the U4U (United for Ukraine program), I have sponsored almost a dozen people. Some have contacts here in the US and are going straight to them. They do not need any additional help. Others, I am helping by providing a safe space, with food and a way to start fresh. I have been so very blessed, and I want to help and bless others. So, our home is open. We have more people with us. Are things a bit stretched? A little. But, just as hosting our Ukrainian kiddos last year changed us, this, too, is changing us. My children are learning the importance of doing without for just a little bit, to help others. They are learning about other cultures and languages. At any given point throughout the day, they hear Spanish, Ukrainian and English. They are trying different foods. The mission trips that so many talk about are here, in my home, and I am so grateful. 

So many exciting things happening!

<script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-4671111515252199"

     crossorigin="anonymous"></script>

It has been almost two months since I have written. I wasn't sure what to write or where to start. I had asked a friend to create something for me. I wanted something that represented both my kids in the US and my kids in Ukraine. The left side is the American flag with my boys' names. The right side is the Ukrainian flag with my four kids' names in Ukrainian, a blending of our family. I have not yet figured out what to do with this beautiful picture. But I will figure it out. 

The last two months have been very busy. I have reconnected with the kids in Ukraine. I speak to at least one of them daily. I also have a direct connection to the oldest child. And I learned why the children are in the system. So many emotions. I also have been able to get the children gifts. They have not yet received them but they will soon! I am excited to see how they respond!

Although I currently cannot bring the kids here, I have been able to help in many other ways with the people of Ukraine! Plans are still in development but stay tuned for my next crazy idea! 

Emptiness... Compassion fatigue is real

<script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-4671111515252199"

     crossorigin="anonymous"></script>

School has started. Kids are getting back into the swing of school, schoolwork and their activities. I know we are. My two oldest are both in soccer! This may be the last season for Hunter but he does have other activities that he is interested in. Hudson is really getting into it and it has been fun watching him practice this season so far! Last season was REALLY hard to watch LOL We have food, each other, friends, family, a home. We are blessed.

But we are missing some very important pieces to our family puzzle. And all four of them are halfway across the world in a very scary area right now. And while the situation tends to be front and center on the news, it is getting harder and harder to help. Currently, I have done and continue to do what I can to help my kiddos, but because of Martial Law (which has been extended through November), R, N, Y and S cannot come here. I still can't adopt. But we talk. And I get to see their faces on occasion. 

So how else can I help? Through the United 4 Ukraine program that is being offered by the US. People apply to "sponsor" people to come here for two years from Ukraine. This program has helped thousands of people flee their homeland to come safely to the US. Some want to stay but many want to return to Ukraine when it is safe to do so. So, what does all this mean? I have been working with this individual who does an excellent job explaining this process. 

And what does it mean to "Sponsor" an individual, family or group? Check it out!

Please do not let compassion fatigue set in. It is affecting our abilities to help these amazing people. Russia continues to invade a country that did nothing to provoke them. And this has been going on well before Feb 2022. 

So many emotions... Joy, fear, sadness, love and fixing their BOMB shelter

<script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-4671111515252199"

     crossorigin="anonymous"></script>

These last few weeks have been very busy with work, school, activities, events and my fundraiser. My kiddos' orphanage's shelter needs to be repaired before they can return. However, the Ukrainian government will not help with the repairs and so people are fundraising to help cover the costs. My kids have been refugees in their own country for the last 4-5 months, moving from one location to another. They have been able to stay at the locations for a short period of time, but they are still having to move. They so want to return to their orphanage and return to some sense of normalcy. I get it. But this is what needs to be repaired:

Can you believe it? This looks like an old dungeon. But this is their bomb shelter. That is the first time I have said it. Bomb shelter. If you look at all of my posts, I have referred to repairing their "shelter". I can't imagine that I am helping children halfway around the world repair their bomb shelter so that they can return to it. My kids here in the US do have scary things to worry about (someone just posted in our neighborhood app that a creepy guy was following kids in another neighborhood in our area), but not surviving bombs. I was talking to Y yesterday and all of the sudden, he had to go. This is the message he sent me. 

They had an air alarm. He is 12 years old. His sister is 7. His older brothers are 14 and 17. These kids have been through so much. And all we want is for them to be with us. A few days ago I had the pleasure of "meeting" and talking with N and Y's older brother, R. He is considered an aged out orphan. Fortunately, the director has allowed him to stay so that he is not separated from his younger siblings. We had a wonderful conversation. He does such a great job looking out and taking care of N, Y and S. They have told me that they love me. They have told me that they want me to be their mom. I hope and pray that this will happen. 

The fundraisers that are currently happening to help raise funds for my kiddos:

My Pampered Chef fundraiser (ends Aug 12) - pamperedchef.com/go/teresamccann0804 Thank you for your support! 

Another family's Pampered Chef fundraiser (ends Aug 14) - https://www.pamperedchef.com/party/angelaoverholt0808

Another family's T-shirt fundraiser - https://www.catholictshirtclub.com/collections?fbclid=IwAR2uBESm3XxWFRXgDkPoXbYwlfksY1_QskFIweci1Ev3AmsqsYo-8XKz1e8

Joyous day!

<script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-4671111515252199"

     crossorigin="anonymous"></script>

Two days ago I was given a wonderful gift and I spoke with and saw N and Y! Unfortunately, back in February I lost direct contact with them and have heard how they are doing through other families who have hosted children from the same orphanage. But, on Thursday, I reconnected with them through a friend! 

We have all missed them so much. Hunter gets through it by watching videos of himself with them from this past winter break. Hudson gets through it by regularly talking about them. They both ask when N and Y will return. I wish I could give them an answer. However, the phone calls and messages over the last few days have been about as best I can do at the moment given the circumstances. 

Even after all this time, I think they miss us just as much as we miss them. Y always was more open with me with his feelings and that has not changed. N keeps his feelings tight to his chest (completely understandable), but even now, with the messages, he shows what he feels comfortable and that is the best gift I could ask for!

I want to thank you all again for following our journey. I am not giving up hope that they will all return someday. In the meantime, many Ukrainians who fled are making their way back home. For N and Y and all the other kids, they cannot return home until their shelter has been fixed as it is not deemed safe and they need a safe place to go should the shelling and bombing come their way (it is my understanding that the shelter is old, not been damaged by the war). So, please be aware, I may be reaching out again. The orphanage needs $5,000 USD to repair it. There are a few families with host children in this orphanage and so we will all be working together to raise the money. While I want them here with me, they're determined to go home (and I cannot blame them as they have been moving from place to place for months) and I want to be sure they are safe. If you would like to donate, here are my accounts:

Venmo: @teresa-mccann-6

PayPal: teresamccann6

Here are some photos of the shelter at the orphanage that we look to repair:

Understanding trauma

<script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-4671111515252199"

     crossorigin="anonymous"></script>

I haven't written in almost a month. It's not that I don't think about my kiddos in Ukraine. I think about them daily, through pics, memories, what ifs, my own kids asking about them. We pray for them regularly. We pray for the war to end. We think about how we can help. I think about how to keep this at the forefront of everyone's mind. I decided to host the Ukrainian boys very last minute - basically the first week of November (and payments were due end of October). I originally was only going to bring one, but I could not separate the brothers. And so began my journey of hosting the two boys. After four weeks of ups and downs (just like any family), we said good bye, but it wasn't good bye. It was I'll see you soon. Little did I know not only 6 weeks later, war would break out. Before I said goodbyes, I gave N and Y small bracelets. My own boys have them and wear them as well. I told N and Y that these bracelets represent us as a family and then whenever they need/want to remember us, just to look at the bracelet. On Jan 26, I sent a picture to Y of Hunter and I wearing our bracelets. Y's response:

He had his bracelet on. It meant a great deal to us. He means a great deal to this family. A most recent update is that the group had to leave where they were staying in Lviv. The pictures I have received look like they are enjoying themselves. However, I had a conversation with someone earlier today. I made the comment that although they (meaning the director) do not want to be refugees; however, they have become them, in their own country: fleeing from danger, living on minimal resources, no idea what the future brings, even in danger at times. It is heartbreaking. I wonder when it will stop. I wonder if I will see the kids again. I think about what else I can do to help. 

Writing this blog has brought some relief. It allows me to get my feelings and thoughts out there. I came into this very last minute, with no idea what I was doing. I opened my heart, my home and my life to these boys, and I would do it again. And I would recommend this to anyone. But I would also prepare them for the connection with these kids and the loss one feels upon their departure, let alone their departure into a war. There are many people who are fighting for these kids. They do it to help them. And they won't give in and they won't give up. Above everything else, please make sure to check on the people in your life. You never know what they are going through or how hard their life really is. 

I have made many connections through having the boys visit. If you are interested in helping Ukrainians please reach out to me. There are people and families that need to be hosted and possibly financially hosted here in the US. There are aged out orphans who have been approved to come to the US but they need a home and financial support. If you are not able to support by providing a room, can you help financially? Please, even just $5 multiplied by hundreds of people can help. Please help by sharing this post. 

Are you F***ing kidding me????

<script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-4671111515252199"

     crossorigin="anonymous"></script>

Yep. I am ticked off. I have tried to contain my anger for this last week when the news came out. It's hard. Officially hosting has been off the table for quite some time. Unfortunately we did not get this news from the organization that brought me N and Y. I put the pieces together by reading information. According to Ukraine's Social Ministry, hosting has not been an option as long as Martial Law is in place. Basically, martial law is when the military and not civilians apply the law. Additionally, it means that males within a certain age range are not allowed to leave Ukraine and have to be available to fight if needed. 

Well, last week, Ukrainian Social Ministry made a public announcement. See this announcement below. I took a screen shot but the pic comes from this link https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/News/Intercountry-Adoption-News/-resumption-of-hosting-programs-in-ukraine.html#:~:text=On%20June%2011%2C%202022%2C%20the,abroad%20for%20health%20and%20recreation.

Basically, it is saying that Hosting programs can resume! YEAH! Right? Nope. Not so much. The highlighted section states that orphans are not ELIGIBLE to participate! WHAT?!? Are you kidding me? The children that would benefit the most from hosting are not ELIGIBLE. How frustrating is this? I cannot understand why the children with the greatest need would be ineligible to participate. Just another example where politics supersede the best interests of people, more importantly children. 

As a family, we have been struggling with when (not if) N and Y will return. Just last night, my oldest son, Hunter came into my bedroom and started crying because he missed them so much and wanted to know when they would return. The way that we get through this is to watch videos from when they were here. We smile and laugh and talk about them. We pray for their return. That is about the best we can do. 

I often struggle in silence. I think about the plans we had this summer together with them here - camping, soccer camps, water parks, farmer's markets and just hanging out. One business, that has been SO supportive, Industrial Dance Project in Crown Point (https://industrialdanceproject.com/ ) is having Parkour day and I had hoped and planned for Hunter, N and Y to attend! I even got T-shirts for all of them.... The day is this weekend. Sadly, they are not here. So I am left with T-shirts to remind myself of their absence. 

Struggling to find the words...

 <script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-4671111515252199"

     crossorigin="anonymous"></script>

This week has been a bit difficult. My sweet N turned 14 this week. He has been in the system since 2018 at least. He still remembers life before the orphanage. Not only has this kid had to deal with going into the system, he has been there for a good part of his life, with his siblings, travelled and visited different families and NOW, in the middle of a war. He has seen and lived through more than so many of us in his short life. I hope and pray that you had a good birthday (again, how is that really possible?). But I pray and hope that you know that we are thinking and praying for you daily.

I have not received any updates regarding anything for hosting. The organization has started to focus on hosting children from Malawi. We are still getting requests for help from many of the orphanages that we work with in Ukraine and we are doing everything we can. As far as I can tell, the Ukrainian government has extended Martial Law through the end of August. And because of this, hosting is on hold at least through then. 

It is so easy to forget that this war is going on. It is halfway around the world. Is it affecting us? Yes, financially. However, are we losing lives? Are we starving? Are we having to run to the basement when we hear the sirens? Please do not forget. We are witnessing history repeating itself. 

Stalin did this back in the 30's. Putin is doing it again - 

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/24/world/europe/russia-ukraine-food-supply.html

Hitler committed Genocide. Current studies indicate that the rhetoric being used and the actions that have occurred are following this same path in Ukraine - 

https://www.cnn.com/2022/05/27/europe/russia-ukraine-genocide-warning-intl/index.html

Please. Help. 

My final day in Poland

<script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-4671111515252199"

     crossorigin="anonymous"></script>

I had written this after spending the day in Warsaw but I never posted it. I have learned quite a bit about WWII and the Holocaust. I studied in Poland over 20 years ago and visited Auschwitz, Birkenau as well as Dachau. However,  I had learned minimal about the Warsaw Ghetto. We took the day and did a walking tour of the Warsaw Small and Large Ghettos. Warsaw is considered one of the youngest cities in Europe due to Germany leveling it towards the end of WWII. Warsaw made the decision to try to salvage what they could and what they could not, they built some of the buildings to look as if they had never been destroyed. Everywhere you turn there are constant memories of those who lost their lives. So many question how the Holocaust could happen and I learned so much:

• The Germans encouraged the separation of the Jewish and Poles and both groups believed the Germans so they went along with it (Jewish were told that the Poles would steal their money and the Poles were told that the Jewish had diseases). 
• The two Ghettos (Small and Large) were connected by a bridge (see picture in the movie below). This allowed people to cross from one ghetto to another (often to go to work as they were still required to work).
• Over time, the Germans provided less and less to those in the Ghetto, basically starving the people. Those that survived were transported to the train station and sent to working camps (for example, Auschwitz). 

PROEM... and our last day with the kids.

 <script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-4671111515252199"

     crossorigin="anonymous"></script>

This picture says it all. While with the kids, we did a number of activities including charades, Red Light Green Light, water balloon fights and painting. Children often express their feelings well with drawings and this says it all. A "v" over the Ukrainian flag (which I have not figured out what that stands for) and an "x" over the Russian flag. Even when why try to take their minds off the horrors, they still remain.

Here are some of the pictures of our time with the kids. It was wonderful seeing them smile and hearing their laughs. They connected with us. We enjoyed our time with them. It has been a very intense week, emotionally and physically. I will miss my time with them in Poland. I have made some connections that I hope will be lifelong and I hope to bring my children here some day. Poland was where I learned of my love for travel and with its rich history, it a place that I will never forget. 

We also had the opportunity to visit a wonderful organization here in Poland - PROEM. They are an organization that has grown over the years and includes a variety of opportunities for Polish children ranging from school (preschool - high school) to camps. They have also been so welcoming and will offer camps for Ukrainian children this summer. I strongly encourage you to learn more about this organization and if you feel drawn to donate, you can do so and choose your cause (of course, mine will be Ukrainian Children's Camp). 

Proem's website here

Cleaning, organizing, packing and... some time to sightsee!

<script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-4671111515252199"

     crossorigin="anonymous"></script>

Today was a pretty difficult day. Three women and their children were leaving for the US. I had met these women the first day I was here. They are so brave. They had their COVID tests and, right now, as I type this, are flying to the US. More than 24 hours of travel. Again, it is not a good-bye, but a see you soon.

Also, there has been a little boy here with whom I have connected. I have not spent a lot of time with him, but yesterday, as we were leaving for the day, he stayed close to me. We hugged and I told him I would see him soon. But he didn't want to go. He reminds me a bit of my N. When I asked if there was something he needed. He said "yes". I asked him (all via a translator app) "what do you need?" and his response "help". We both were fighting back tears. He would not go into detail because he did not want to talk about it. These children here are going through so much. So much pain, trauma, and not knowing what to do with it or express it. I hope that I am able to see him again before we leave...

To end the day yesterday, we were able to do some sightseeing. We visited a 1,000 year old church and cemetery, both of which were very beautiful. It was very calm, quiet and peaceful there. 

Prayer for Ukraine

<script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-4671111515252199"

     crossorigin="anonymous"></script>

The last two days have been very busy. We have organized, moved, reorganized, moved, prayed and played. This camp is beautiful and provides so much for their community, the Polish people as well as the Ukrainian refugees. This is truly a safe place for people to feel comfortable in a very scary situation. Some have been here for weeks while others stay for only a short time. Many have very strong hopes to return home (Ukraine). 

Yesterday we were able to pack up all of the clothing donations so that they can be taken to other camps and churches. Over the next few weeks the camp will be having a church camp for children. This ministry happens every summer and the only difference this year is that there will be a week that will be for Ukrainian refugee children as well. This children's camp will also have therapists available to work with the children to help them better understand and express their feelings and grief during this difficult time. I cannot express how amazing this camp is! There are so many people here that give so much, it is a way of life for them. It is a very humbling experience. 

Here is a video of the work that we have done over the last few days:

And, yes, we did a lot of work today! But we also had a ton of very happy experiences! We were able to play with the kids! We had 3 legged races, egg races, water balloon fights and I even got to show off my drawing skills! We all had a blast! We also were able to experience three baptisms, and a Ukrainian worship night. It was a wonderful way to end the day! There are so many people here who have been such a blessing, and because they are blessed, they bless others. It is so amazing to see how much people give - time, money, talents, etc. 

Here are some pics from today:

There are so many people here that I ask you to pray for. To maintain their anonymity, I will use just an initial:

D, A, M, D - These leaders have so much love for this place and work so hard to provide for so many people. Please pray that they continue to receive the resources that they need to continue to be an amazing place for refugees as well as those in their community.

M, M and kids - These women have been here at the camp while their husbands had to stay behind in Ukraine. They will be going to the US to stay with friends for the next few months. Please pray for their safe travels and for them to be reunited as a family. 

Groups of volunteers - There are many here that come from various areas around the US - Michigan, Indiana, Kansas and so many more. Please pray for their safety, love, generosity and support as they continue to go beyond their borders to help those in need. 

I end tonight with a beautiful song. We heard it tonight at the Ukrainian Prayer Service. It is a recording from the actual service, two young Ukrainian women singing the song Prayer for Ukraine. 

Witamy w Polsce - Welcome to Poland!

<script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-4671111515252199"

     crossorigin="anonymous"></script>

Well, after a very long day, I have arrived. I left NW Indiana at 4:00 pm on Saturday night and arrived at the hotel one hour outside of Warsaw, Poland at 7:00sh pm Sunday night, granted, I am 7 hours ahead of home. We brought over 19 pieces of luggage (humanitarian aid). It took over one hour to get everyone checked in and by the time we made it to the gate, we were just 1 hour or so from boarding. Unfortunately, we were delayed quite a bit. But we finally boarded and made it to Warsaw! But... somehow one piece of luggage has been lost or stolen. We are praying that it is found and gets to who needs it as it is EXTREMELY important. 

I met Oksana, a young woman who has been fighting right on the front, going back and forth between Poland and Ukraine. However, this is not the first time that I have actually met her. She was the one that travelled with N and Y this past Christmas. She has been doing so much and fighting so hard. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. 

We also met Daniel, who is one of the directors of the camp where I will be serving. It is a beautiful camp, very peaceful. I am so grateful to be given the opportunity to help these people. Their lives have been turned upside down. They are far from home, some without members of their family, their personal belongings, but, they are safe. 

The war/conflict with Russia seems so far away when I am home. For many in the US, it may not affect their day to day operations so they do not think about it. However, here, it is everywhere. There are Ukrainian flags. There are pictures. There are numerous groups bringing aid. Even when we arrived at the airport, there was a small kiosk with someone readily available to help Ukrainian refugees. It was amazing to see the outpouring of support and aid for the Ukrainian people. 

As I get ready to get some sleep tonight, I want to say thank you. So many of you have helped support me over the last few months. There are too many people to personally thank (and so many who don't want to be named), but please know that your support means the world to me and my family. Without it, we would not have met N and Y, we would not have opened our hearts and homes to them, their lives, their culture and, now, their conflict. Their fight is our fight. And I am blessed to help in any way that I can. 

 

Mother's day - so different now with N and Y not here

<script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-4671111515252199"

     crossorigin="anonymous"></script>

There has been so much going on. I am leaving for Poland in less than one week. I will be representing Force For Hope and taking humanitarian aid over to Poland. We will be helping refugees at a camp there. We will be organizing and loading supplies (so they can be taken to Ukraine), making meals, entertaining kids, and pretty much whatever they need. I am so blessed and fortunate to be able to help. Many are nervous that I am going; however, I am not. Yes, we are close to Ukraine, which is in conflict with Russia. But, God will be watching over us. This is also the 4th trip to Poland for our organization. Please make sure to follow this blog for updates!

Today is Mother's Day. It was a good day. I spent the day with my boys and my mom at our campground in Sheridan, IL. We enjoyed the outdoors, relaxed, saw friends and got excited for some upcoming NICE weather. However, we were missing some. N, Y, their sister and brother were not with us. But we were thinking of them. They are still in Ukraine. I get pictures from time to time. They seem to be doing ok. I can't say great because they are in a war-torn country. To my knowledge they are living in a school. They still go to basements when they hear the sirens. That is no way to live for anyone, let alone children. I want to do everything in my power to help them. There is just so much red tape. It really is an impossible situation. 

Y also turned 11 this past week. We recorded/sang Happy birthday to him. I got some pictures of him. It looks like he received a soccer ball and goalie gloves. He looks happy... but, again, it makes me think of so much. He has so little. He received so little.

So... that's where we are at: regularly thinking and praying for N, Y and their siblings, missing them, loving them from afar. It's hard to believe that they were brought here less than 6 months ago and the impact they had on us, in such a short amount of time. They have been such a blessing. 

And... I'm presented with another opportunity!

<script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-4671111515252199"

     crossorigin="anonymous"></script>

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT! I can't believe it! The same organization that has brought me N and Y has asked me to lead a group to Poland! I will be working with a wonderful group of people, and we will be taking Humanitarian Aid to Poland. While there we will be helping Ukrainian refugees as well as packing boxes of supplies. The boxes of medical supplies will then be transported by another group to Ukraine. There is no guarantee that I will be able to see N, Y or their sister. They are currently still in Ukraine, and I will NOT be going into Ukraine. I am hopeful that they will leave Ukraine and head to safety in another country. 

My organization, Force For Christ/Force For Hope (FFC/FFH) has organized a variety of these trips since the invasion has started. We have sent groups to Poland, Romania and Italy and we continue sending more groups in May. We are extremely fortunate to be in a position where we can help. 

I am so thankful to a number of people that are helping me make this possible:

• Liz - Director of FFC/FFH for having the faith and confidence in me to lead a trip
• My mom's boss - to support our cause and give my mom the ability to come and take care of my kids
• My mom - to support ME 100% and is coming to watch the kids while I travel
• YOU - so many of you have supported me financially, emotionally, physically throughout all of this

I will be posting updates really soon giving any additional ideas to support us on our trip! Thank you again! Here are some ways to support us now:

Order support Ukraine shirts/sweatshirts: https://www.customink.com/fundraising/force-4-hope-missions?utm_campaign=desktop-campaign-page-share-v3&utm_content=force-4-hope-missions&utm_medium=social&utm_source=copy-link&fbclid=IwAR071Z0vy6Ai2WJjelTPhMvhi45Ki-A4PKpQ_dQtbrbJcn-nbS2QZRzoaik

Handmade bracelets by refugees in Poland:

FFC Fundraiser to help purchase needed supplies for refugees and soldiers!

$12 for smaller, $30 for 3

$15 for large, $35 for 3

https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/forceforchristoo?fbclid=IwAR3XJf2PsTSpaiwn8Drcfa_M1sZgW6glWnfaBeWYFDWphWX4sLTa7uXDurY

It's been quiet lately...

<script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-4671111515252199"

     crossorigin="anonymous"></script>

I have not posted in awhile. Unfortunately there has not been a lot of change going on. My kiddos are still in Lviv (which was just recently bombed two days ago and prior to the bombing, there was a sense of safety). Hosting is still hopeful for part of the summer. But we are in a state of limbo. And, as much as the Ukrainian ministry (those responsible for the orphans) want to be hopeful, some decisions will need to be made. My kiddos and countless others have missed almost half of the school year this year. They can't start out the next school year in limbo. But what does this mean? I really don't know. Russia seems to be hell bent on taking control over at least the Eastern parts of Ukraine while making sure that all Ukrainians are on age, no matter the location. 

In the meantime, I have received some updates from my kiddos' director of the orphanage. I am happy that they are safe. I am happy to know that they are receiving the essentials to survive. But as I write that, a pain shoots through me. How horrible is that? Enough to survive? These are kids. My son Hudson just asked if he could have chocolate for breakfast and my kiddos in Ukraine just need to worry about getting enough food to get by, to survive. It is so hard to love someone so much and to do so little to help. 

                    

But now... here is some news! As I said, I have been quiet lately. But this does not mean that there is not a lot going on behind the scenes. While we are still in the early stages, there is a plan in the works where I will lead a group to take Humanitarian Aid to Poland which will then be transported to Ukraine. I will not be taking the aid into Ukraine, only to Poland. While in Poland, I will be spending time with some of the Ukrainian orphans that have made their way to Poland. I am very excited to be a part of this amazing journey. Be on the look out for more updates! And, please, keep all of us in your prayers as we navigate the next few weeks. 💗

For ever let this place be a cry of despair and a warning to humanity, where the Nazis murdered about one and a half million men, women, and children, mainly Jews, from various countries of Europe. Auschwitz-Birkenau 1940-1945

<script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-4671111515252199"

     crossorigin="anonymous"></script>

In 1999 I was fortunate to travel abroad for the first time in my life. With approximately 15 other students, we travelled with two professors from UNI (University of Northern Iowa) to Poland for 8 weeks in the summer. During that time we studied the humanities as well as the Holocaust. We visited various cities throughout Poland, Austria and Germany as well as 3 concentration camps. I was 20 years old visiting some of the most traumatizing areas in the world. I could not fully comprehend the magnitude of these concentration camps and the atrocities that many Germans committed. 

These pictures show me at the entrance to Auschwitz as well as within one of the gas chambers. 

23 years later I am seeing a similar event, repeating itself. Many compare Russia's and Putin's actions in Ukraine to that of Hitler and Nazi Germany. Reports are showing the senseless killings of men, women and children by the Russian army, calling for Putin to be charged with war crimes. 

My kids are still in Ukraine. They are still in harm's way. You ask Why are they still there? Believe me, I wish I knew the answer. I ask myself this daily, to the point that I get angry. Why haven't they left? Again, I do not know. The Ministry in Ukraine has advised all orphanages that they are able to leave Ukraine (they must stay within a certain area within Europe). I wish I could ask the director. I wish I understood why she is staying. But, I must also remember that I am not in her shoes. She has multiple children that she is responsible for. Human trafficking has increased. Thousands of Ukrainian children are unaccounted for (https://www.coe.int/en/web/portal/-/human-trafficking-experts-states-must-urgently-protect-refugees-fleeing-ukraine). She is scared, overwhelmed, tired, and so many other emotions that I can't even imagine. 

I am still hopeful for hosting, whether for the summer, shorter term or longer term. Whatever my kiddos need. I was recently asked to travel to Poland to help with the humanitarian efforts. While I was not able to go this month, I am still working to try to go next month. 

I have not had a lot of contact with N and Y. However, by the grace of God, I have met another family who have hosted kids in the same orphanage as mine. I am able to communicate with my kids through them. The host mom sent this to me - joy filled me and I cried tears of happiness, sadness, fear and love. Please continue to pray for these kids. Your thoughts, prayers, love, support have gotten us this far and will continue to give me the strength to keep going, for them. 

It´s been so long...

<script async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-4671111515252199"

     crossorigin="anonymous"></script>

 It has been almost 2 weeks since I last post. I can´t believe how much time has passed. I can´t believe how long this has been going on. Russia invaded Ukraine February 24 I believe. This means that my kiddos, along with countless other orphans, have been living basically on the run. They have been surviving on funds we send to them. The Ukrainian government stopped sending monetary funds to the orphanages a few weeks ago. This may be normal (as all available funds are going to the war); however, this makes it even more difficult. These orphans are children. They are not attending school. They are living in make shift shelters. They are running to the basements almost daily due to being bombed. Here are a few of the texts that I have received from our director over the last two weeks (from contacts in Ukraine):

• We were bombed. The missile just flew over our house and hit across the road.
• 10,000 Ukrainian orphans unaccounted for.

The longer it goes on, the more people are likely to forget. We have started sending people over to help with the relief efforts. I have been asked and I want to help. However, I recently tested positive for COVID and Strep (yep, at the same time). I need to make sure my health is at its best before making any final decisions.

On a good note, I did hear back from my kid's orphanage director. She sent me some pictures of N, Y and S. These kids are so amazing. They have been dealt such a horrible hand in life. None of the choices that they have made have caused them to be where they are at right now. With each passing day, I wonder Will I see them again? Will I hug them again? Do they know how much they are loved and missed?