Understanding trauma

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I haven't written in almost a month. It's not that I don't think about my kiddos in Ukraine. I think about them daily, through pics, memories, what ifs, my own kids asking about them. We pray for them regularly. We pray for the war to end. We think about how we can help. I think about how to keep this at the forefront of everyone's mind. I decided to host the Ukrainian boys very last minute - basically the first week of November (and payments were due end of October). I originally was only going to bring one, but I could not separate the brothers. And so began my journey of hosting the two boys. After four weeks of ups and downs (just like any family), we said good bye, but it wasn't good bye. It was I'll see you soon. Little did I know not only 6 weeks later, war would break out. Before I said goodbyes, I gave N and Y small bracelets. My own boys have them and wear them as well. I told N and Y that these bracelets represent us as a family and then whenever they need/want to remember us, just to look at the bracelet. On Jan 26, I sent a picture to Y of Hunter and I wearing our bracelets. Y's response:

He had his bracelet on. It meant a great deal to us. He means a great deal to this family. A most recent update is that the group had to leave where they were staying in Lviv. The pictures I have received look like they are enjoying themselves. However, I had a conversation with someone earlier today. I made the comment that although they (meaning the director) do not want to be refugees; however, they have become them, in their own country: fleeing from danger, living on minimal resources, no idea what the future brings, even in danger at times. It is heartbreaking. I wonder when it will stop. I wonder if I will see the kids again. I think about what else I can do to help. 

Writing this blog has brought some relief. It allows me to get my feelings and thoughts out there. I came into this very last minute, with no idea what I was doing. I opened my heart, my home and my life to these boys, and I would do it again. And I would recommend this to anyone. But I would also prepare them for the connection with these kids and the loss one feels upon their departure, let alone their departure into a war. There are many people who are fighting for these kids. They do it to help them. And they won't give in and they won't give up. Above everything else, please make sure to check on the people in your life. You never know what they are going through or how hard their life really is. 

I have made many connections through having the boys visit. If you are interested in helping Ukrainians please reach out to me. There are people and families that need to be hosted and possibly financially hosted here in the US. There are aged out orphans who have been approved to come to the US but they need a home and financial support. If you are not able to support by providing a room, can you help financially? Please, even just $5 multiplied by hundreds of people can help. Please help by sharing this post.