Joyous day!

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Two days ago I was given a wonderful gift and I spoke with and saw N and Y! Unfortunately, back in February I lost direct contact with them and have heard how they are doing through other families who have hosted children from the same orphanage. But, on Thursday, I reconnected with them through a friend! 

We have all missed them so much. Hunter gets through it by watching videos of himself with them from this past winter break. Hudson gets through it by regularly talking about them. They both ask when N and Y will return. I wish I could give them an answer. However, the phone calls and messages over the last few days have been about as best I can do at the moment given the circumstances. 

Even after all this time, I think they miss us just as much as we miss them. Y always was more open with me with his feelings and that has not changed. N keeps his feelings tight to his chest (completely understandable), but even now, with the messages, he shows what he feels comfortable and that is the best gift I could ask for!

I want to thank you all again for following our journey. I am not giving up hope that they will all return someday. In the meantime, many Ukrainians who fled are making their way back home. For N and Y and all the other kids, they cannot return home until their shelter has been fixed as it is not deemed safe and they need a safe place to go should the shelling and bombing come their way (it is my understanding that the shelter is old, not been damaged by the war). So, please be aware, I may be reaching out again. The orphanage needs $5,000 USD to repair it. There are a few families with host children in this orphanage and so we will all be working together to raise the money. While I want them here with me, they're determined to go home (and I cannot blame them as they have been moving from place to place for months) and I want to be sure they are safe. If you would like to donate, here are my accounts:

Venmo: @teresa-mccann-6

PayPal: teresamccann6

Here are some photos of the shelter at the orphanage that we look to repair:

Understanding trauma

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I haven't written in almost a month. It's not that I don't think about my kiddos in Ukraine. I think about them daily, through pics, memories, what ifs, my own kids asking about them. We pray for them regularly. We pray for the war to end. We think about how we can help. I think about how to keep this at the forefront of everyone's mind. I decided to host the Ukrainian boys very last minute - basically the first week of November (and payments were due end of October). I originally was only going to bring one, but I could not separate the brothers. And so began my journey of hosting the two boys. After four weeks of ups and downs (just like any family), we said good bye, but it wasn't good bye. It was I'll see you soon. Little did I know not only 6 weeks later, war would break out. Before I said goodbyes, I gave N and Y small bracelets. My own boys have them and wear them as well. I told N and Y that these bracelets represent us as a family and then whenever they need/want to remember us, just to look at the bracelet. On Jan 26, I sent a picture to Y of Hunter and I wearing our bracelets. Y's response:

He had his bracelet on. It meant a great deal to us. He means a great deal to this family. A most recent update is that the group had to leave where they were staying in Lviv. The pictures I have received look like they are enjoying themselves. However, I had a conversation with someone earlier today. I made the comment that although they (meaning the director) do not want to be refugees; however, they have become them, in their own country: fleeing from danger, living on minimal resources, no idea what the future brings, even in danger at times. It is heartbreaking. I wonder when it will stop. I wonder if I will see the kids again. I think about what else I can do to help. 

Writing this blog has brought some relief. It allows me to get my feelings and thoughts out there. I came into this very last minute, with no idea what I was doing. I opened my heart, my home and my life to these boys, and I would do it again. And I would recommend this to anyone. But I would also prepare them for the connection with these kids and the loss one feels upon their departure, let alone their departure into a war. There are many people who are fighting for these kids. They do it to help them. And they won't give in and they won't give up. Above everything else, please make sure to check on the people in your life. You never know what they are going through or how hard their life really is. 

I have made many connections through having the boys visit. If you are interested in helping Ukrainians please reach out to me. There are people and families that need to be hosted and possibly financially hosted here in the US. There are aged out orphans who have been approved to come to the US but they need a home and financial support. If you are not able to support by providing a room, can you help financially? Please, even just $5 multiplied by hundreds of people can help. Please help by sharing this post. 

Are you F***ing kidding me????

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Yep. I am ticked off. I have tried to contain my anger for this last week when the news came out. It's hard. Officially hosting has been off the table for quite some time. Unfortunately we did not get this news from the organization that brought me N and Y. I put the pieces together by reading information. According to Ukraine's Social Ministry, hosting has not been an option as long as Martial Law is in place. Basically, martial law is when the military and not civilians apply the law. Additionally, it means that males within a certain age range are not allowed to leave Ukraine and have to be available to fight if needed. 

Well, last week, Ukrainian Social Ministry made a public announcement. See this announcement below. I took a screen shot but the pic comes from this link https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/News/Intercountry-Adoption-News/-resumption-of-hosting-programs-in-ukraine.html#:~:text=On%20June%2011%2C%202022%2C%20the,abroad%20for%20health%20and%20recreation.

Basically, it is saying that Hosting programs can resume! YEAH! Right? Nope. Not so much. The highlighted section states that orphans are not ELIGIBLE to participate! WHAT?!? Are you kidding me? The children that would benefit the most from hosting are not ELIGIBLE. How frustrating is this? I cannot understand why the children with the greatest need would be ineligible to participate. Just another example where politics supersede the best interests of people, more importantly children. 

As a family, we have been struggling with when (not if) N and Y will return. Just last night, my oldest son, Hunter came into my bedroom and started crying because he missed them so much and wanted to know when they would return. The way that we get through this is to watch videos from when they were here. We smile and laugh and talk about them. We pray for their return. That is about the best we can do. 

I often struggle in silence. I think about the plans we had this summer together with them here - camping, soccer camps, water parks, farmer's markets and just hanging out. One business, that has been SO supportive, Industrial Dance Project in Crown Point (https://industrialdanceproject.com/ ) is having Parkour day and I had hoped and planned for Hunter, N and Y to attend! I even got T-shirts for all of them.... The day is this weekend. Sadly, they are not here. So I am left with T-shirts to remind myself of their absence. 

Struggling to find the words...

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This week has been a bit difficult. My sweet N turned 14 this week. He has been in the system since 2018 at least. He still remembers life before the orphanage. Not only has this kid had to deal with going into the system, he has been there for a good part of his life, with his siblings, travelled and visited different families and NOW, in the middle of a war. He has seen and lived through more than so many of us in his short life. I hope and pray that you had a good birthday (again, how is that really possible?). But I pray and hope that you know that we are thinking and praying for you daily.

I have not received any updates regarding anything for hosting. The organization has started to focus on hosting children from Malawi. We are still getting requests for help from many of the orphanages that we work with in Ukraine and we are doing everything we can. As far as I can tell, the Ukrainian government has extended Martial Law through the end of August. And because of this, hosting is on hold at least through then. 

It is so easy to forget that this war is going on. It is halfway around the world. Is it affecting us? Yes, financially. However, are we losing lives? Are we starving? Are we having to run to the basement when we hear the sirens? Please do not forget. We are witnessing history repeating itself. 

Stalin did this back in the 30's. Putin is doing it again - 

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/24/world/europe/russia-ukraine-food-supply.html

Hitler committed Genocide. Current studies indicate that the rhetoric being used and the actions that have occurred are following this same path in Ukraine - 

https://www.cnn.com/2022/05/27/europe/russia-ukraine-genocide-warning-intl/index.html

Please. Help. 

My final day in Poland

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I had written this after spending the day in Warsaw but I never posted it. I have learned quite a bit about WWII and the Holocaust. I studied in Poland over 20 years ago and visited Auschwitz, Birkenau as well as Dachau. However,  I had learned minimal about the Warsaw Ghetto. We took the day and did a walking tour of the Warsaw Small and Large Ghettos. Warsaw is considered one of the youngest cities in Europe due to Germany leveling it towards the end of WWII. Warsaw made the decision to try to salvage what they could and what they could not, they built some of the buildings to look as if they had never been destroyed. Everywhere you turn there are constant memories of those who lost their lives. So many question how the Holocaust could happen and I learned so much:

• The Germans encouraged the separation of the Jewish and Poles and both groups believed the Germans so they went along with it (Jewish were told that the Poles would steal their money and the Poles were told that the Jewish had diseases). 
• The two Ghettos (Small and Large) were connected by a bridge (see picture in the movie below). This allowed people to cross from one ghetto to another (often to go to work as they were still required to work).
• Over time, the Germans provided less and less to those in the Ghetto, basically starving the people. Those that survived were transported to the train station and sent to working camps (for example, Auschwitz). 

PROEM... and our last day with the kids.

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This picture says it all. While with the kids, we did a number of activities including charades, Red Light Green Light, water balloon fights and painting. Children often express their feelings well with drawings and this says it all. A "v" over the Ukrainian flag (which I have not figured out what that stands for) and an "x" over the Russian flag. Even when why try to take their minds off the horrors, they still remain.

Here are some of the pictures of our time with the kids. It was wonderful seeing them smile and hearing their laughs. They connected with us. We enjoyed our time with them. It has been a very intense week, emotionally and physically. I will miss my time with them in Poland. I have made some connections that I hope will be lifelong and I hope to bring my children here some day. Poland was where I learned of my love for travel and with its rich history, it a place that I will never forget. 

We also had the opportunity to visit a wonderful organization here in Poland - PROEM. They are an organization that has grown over the years and includes a variety of opportunities for Polish children ranging from school (preschool - high school) to camps. They have also been so welcoming and will offer camps for Ukrainian children this summer. I strongly encourage you to learn more about this organization and if you feel drawn to donate, you can do so and choose your cause (of course, mine will be Ukrainian Children's Camp). 

Proem's website here

Cleaning, organizing, packing and... some time to sightsee!

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Today was a pretty difficult day. Three women and their children were leaving for the US. I had met these women the first day I was here. They are so brave. They had their COVID tests and, right now, as I type this, are flying to the US. More than 24 hours of travel. Again, it is not a good-bye, but a see you soon.

Also, there has been a little boy here with whom I have connected. I have not spent a lot of time with him, but yesterday, as we were leaving for the day, he stayed close to me. We hugged and I told him I would see him soon. But he didn't want to go. He reminds me a bit of my N. When I asked if there was something he needed. He said "yes". I asked him (all via a translator app) "what do you need?" and his response "help". We both were fighting back tears. He would not go into detail because he did not want to talk about it. These children here are going through so much. So much pain, trauma, and not knowing what to do with it or express it. I hope that I am able to see him again before we leave...

To end the day yesterday, we were able to do some sightseeing. We visited a 1,000 year old church and cemetery, both of which were very beautiful. It was very calm, quiet and peaceful there.